This post has been updated in 2026 to reflect today’s mortgage process.
I get asked some version of this question a lot, in one form or another: once a real estate agent or a homebuyer starts working with me, at what point are they actually committed? Is a preapproval just a quote, or does it come with some kind of obligation? It’s a fair question, and the honest answer is that commitment builds in stages — it isn’t all or nothing from the first phone call.
Getting to know each other isn’t a commitment
When someone reaches out to me for the first time, I ask a few questions to understand what they’re looking for: are they just curious about rates, trying to figure out what they qualify for, or ready to move forward? That conversation might take five minutes, or it may be a 30-minute discovery call. At this stage, there’s no obligation on either side. You’re just getting to know each other and figuring out whether we’re a good fit to work together.
What actually happens during a preapproval
Once you decide to move forward with a preapproval, the relationship changes. You’re handing over income documentation, asset and bank statements, and authorizing a full look at your credit history. I’m reviewing your file, running it through underwriting guidelines, and putting together a strategy for how to structure your financing. Depending on the complexity of your situation, this can take hours of work, sometimes spread across several days.
This is also the point where I’m juggling your file alongside other buyers who are still in the “just curious” phase, and other transactions already moving toward closing. A real preapproval — one that’s actually been underwritten, not just run through an automated system and handed back to you — represents real time and real work on the loan originator’s side.
Once that work is done, I issue a preapproval letter stating that you’ve been through the process and that I’m prepared to provide financing. That letter is what your real estate agent uses to make your offer credible to a seller.
Why this is the point where loyalty matters
Here’s the thing worth understanding as a buyer: interest rates aren’t something you can reliably shop the way you’d shop for a TV. They move throughout the day, tied to the bond market. A rate quoted to you on a Tuesday afternoon isn’t a promise — it’s a snapshot. Someone can always quote you a lower number to get you in the door. The real test is what you’re actually locked into, and what your closing costs look like when you sit down at the table.
So if you’ve already gone through the full preapproval process with someone — the documentation, the underwriting, the strategy conversations — and then switch lenders at the last minute because someone else quoted a slightly better number, you’re not necessarily coming out ahead. You’re starting the real work over again, often under time pressure, with someone who hasn’t yet earned the same understanding of your file.
Once you’re under contract, it’s not the time to shop
If you’ve found your home and you have a signed purchase and sale agreement, that’s the worst possible time to start shopping lenders — especially if someone else already did the work of getting you preapproved. This is the stage where your loan originator should be moving your file through processing and underwriting toward closing, not starting over with a new lender who doesn’t know your transaction.
If something about your rate or costs doesn’t sit right with you, the better move is to ask. A good loan originator should be able to walk you through exactly what you’re locked into and why, rather than leaving you to compare notes with a stranger’s quote.
This is a relationship, not a transaction
I hope to work with my clients well beyond a single closing — whether that’s helping with a refinance down the road or the next home purchase. That kind of relationship only works if it goes both ways. If you want a loan originator who’s responsive, available, and invested in getting your transaction to the closing table, that same loan originator should be able to count on you not to drop them the moment someone else quotes a slightly different number.
If you’re thinking about buying or refinancing a home in Washington state – I’m happy to talk with you!
Last reviewed: September 2026
About Rhonda Porter
Rhonda – Great post today!
I have a question for Ardell.
Does he feel the buyer has an obligation to him if he had gone out and found a property for them and upon getting pre-qualified the lender talked him into going with another Realtor?
Subsequently, what if the lender told the buyers s/he had an obligation to refer them to two other Realtors?
Our, what if lender suggested the seller list their home with a Realtor that had the lowest listing fees?
I’ve actually asked these questions to Realtors and it is amazing how their perspective changes.
Excellent questions, Tony. I’ve forwarded a link to the post Ardell did on RCG. I’m hoping she’ll respond to you. My track backs don’t seem to be working correctly…are you having issues with track backs (since we’re both Typepad)?
Rats! Tony beat me to it. If I was venting I’d say something like “I think I am going to start suggesting that all buyers look at Redfin and similar companies and negotiate their agent commissions since we are in a tighter market.”
But since I am not venting I have to say that while I wish that borrower’s would commit to us it is tough to make them do so.
Rhonda, your points about when to shop for a loan are crucial. Too many times borrowers look at small differences on the GFE (a hundred dollars here or there) between competitors AT THE LAST MINUTE and base their multi-hundred thousand dollar decision on those hundred dollars; often to their detriment.
When Realtors take a customer who is prequalified and use their position of authority over the transaction and face-to-face rapport building advantage over the oft-removed loan agent and flips the customer to their lender of choice it puts the borrower in a difficult position. Do they choose ease of working with their Realtor and their lender to get their home (which is what they ultimately want) or do they stick with the LO who prequalified them in the first place. Too often it is the former, and too often it doesn’t benefit the customer. It goes for other elements of the transaction as well.
For example, when I bought my condo I told our real estate agent (a referral) that we owned a mortgage company and would be using our title and escrow services because we were comfortable with them and the title and escrow officers wanted to see us close quickly and happily. When we told the Realtor this they informed us that they had their own title and escrow and were much more comfortable using them. To ensure a quick close they convinced us to stay with their title and escrow. It cost us an extra $1,000. I fought to get it credited but it is just one example of how the Realtor can tailor the experience to their comfort level to the detriment of their customer, with out the customer realizing it.
Brian Brady recommends a way to protect against losing customers to realtor flipping by charging an application fee to put some “skin in the game.” I think Brian is a genius but I am of the opinion that we don’t earn our money until we deliver the loan and so I don’t subscribe to the upfront fee theory.
I do wish Realtor’s would have a more open mind about the lender being brought to the table and would focus on working with the parties the borrower requests rather than just trying to maximize their own comfort level, whether it benefits the customer or not.
Rhonda – I’m going to admit, I don’t know how trackbacks works?
Morgan – Great points.
It’s also similar to a builder ONLY giving “builder incentives” if their buyer uses their lender(s).